Day 364

When I came into this world 29 years ago, my mom couldn't have been happier than to finally have her baby girl after having 3 amazing boys. I'm sure she wasn't prepared for all the gray hairs and twists and turns my life has given me and her as well. As I woke up on my 29th birthday yesterday, I couldn't help but contemplate my life some. I'm 364 days away from being 30, I've been married for a year and have a beautiful six year old little boy. I've got an associate's degree in Human Services Management, and am still in school for my bachelor's in psychology with a concentration in graduate studies. I'm currently jobless, minus my direct sales position as a candle consultant, and I have yet to break into a career in the field I'm studying for.

So, I've got to thinking. At 29 am I really starting late? Or has it really all just begun for me? I am no where near owning my first home, I'm not in my career field yet; but I have an awesome family and I'm deeply in love with my husband. Money's tight, happiness is high, and hope is like an overflowing cup sitting on my coffee table. There was nothing better than waking up to little arms around my neck yesterday and a soft, sweet voice saying "Happy birthday mommy...I love you.." Instead of a grand celebration kissing my 20s goodbye, I opted to stay home with my husband and son and relax all day long. This was my first indication I was getting older. I had not a drop of alcohol, and no craving for one either. I only found all these thoughts in my head swirling around, and decided I needed an outlet. Thirty is a milestone for me, though I'm not sure why. Maybe it's all the hoopla everyone makes it out to be. Maybe it's just the fact that I would have liked to have more accomplished by now. Maybe I just need a place to tell stories about my day to help me put it all into perspective when I feel like things are getting out of whack......Why not have something to reflect on this last year of my twenties? Something to look back on, reflect on, and probably laugh at.

So day 364 begins. I woke up before both of my boys, later than usual (8:00AM) yes, that is late for me. I took my shower, dried my hair, got dressed and the bums were still sleeping. Usually our house is up and moving no later than 7:30AM. I thought to myself "guess this is the beginning of a new year for me..might I actually sleep in later as I get older again?" I really thought those days had ended the day I brought my little burrito home from the hospital. Yes, I just referred to my son as a burrito because that's what he looked like when he was all wrapped up as a newborn. So sleeping in late (8:00AM is late for me remember), this may not be so bad! I'm really not fooling myself though. I know better. It's just a rarity...we'll see. Next on the agenda was coffee...I never used to like coffee and rely on it in the mornings...another mark of my years. Though, there could be worse things to rely on first thing in the morning...at least I don't need my glasses to get out of bed yet.

So anyway, Thinking I was going to be able to sneak downstairs and start this little blogging venture of mine, both of the bums, I mean boys, finally woke up and instead of being frustrated for losing my peace and quiet, I found myself as happy to hear their voices as they were to give me hugs and 'good mornings'. Now I listen to their playful banter (most who know me realize this is code for thinking I have not one but TWO six year olds at times) and I realize life is good.

Tomorrow's Monday, and usually I'm not that thrilled about Mondays. It marks the beginning of errands and running around. But tomorrow's Monday has my cup of hope on my coffee table boiling and overflowing and making a grand mess. Tomorrow is the day I hope to hear some really good news.....that I get a job offer for a position I interviewed for one week ago. I was hoping I would have heard something by Friday, but I know the process can take some time, and I'm holding on to the fact that they took the time to have me do a background check; which they don't do for all applicants. It's a job in my field. Is it a huge career job? Probably not, in fact, definitely not. BUT, it would be the first open door, the first sign of my goals coming to life, the beginning of the path I've chosen career wise for myself. After a great interview, and being called back for the background check, I'm not even going to clean up or tidy my cup full of hope. I'm just going to let it continue making a grand mess and push me through my day today and tomorrow. Today I have a show, hoping that it will be my last I rely on for income, and my first to look at as spending money. I realize hope is finicky at best, and two-faced at its worst, and should I not hear the news I hope for, I'll still keep that cup on my coffee table...overflowing...and alive. Today hope is a wonderful thing.